"What's That Terrible Smell?"

That was the question being asked all over the country yesterday.

The official explanation was that it was the result of farmers in Europe carrying out their annual muck-spreading operations. It is quite normal for them to use the copious amounts of brown stuff produced by their heavily-subsidised livestock, particularly pigs, to increase crop production.

Some of us choose to believe that it is too much of a coincidence that this event occurred on the very day that Gordon Brown returned from the USA after his no-profile visit. After all, isn't he shitting himself about what to do about his inept handling of the elimination of the 10p tax band?

God Moves In Mysterious Ways

For a moment, when I saw this photograph of Gordon Brown at today's meeting of the UN Security Council in New York, I thought (and hoped) "Is he dead?" (Not a very Christian thought I know.)

Was the Pope exacting some sort of un-Christian revenge on the mad Scotsman for having the audacity to upstage his own historic visit to the USA?

But unfortunately it wasn't true! Benedict hadn't performed a miracle and shuffled Gordon off this mortal coil.


Oh well, we'll just have to do that at the next General Election - if his own party don't do it before!

Another Good Poll Result For Labour - Why?

Another Sunday, another opinion poll. Last month I asked why the Conservative lead was not higher?

This time I am amazed that support for the malignant Gordon Brown and his awful little followers is still as high as 28%. Why are there so many people who still think that this abject group of no-hopers should be running the country?

Oh yes, I remember now. They are the ones who have been given all the extra taxes that my family has paid over the last 11 years to keep them in their feather-bedded jobs which give them inflation-proofed pensions in local government, the civil service and those who live off the swollen benefits regime that has been put in place. We are all paying for the client state that this doomed band has created to keep them in power.

It's going to take years to dismantle this socially-engineered mess that "New" Labour has constructed. But dismantle it we must.....

Buying Our Votes? We're Not That Stupid, Gordon!

If you were one of those "naughty" nurses that I knew in my youth you would not be averse to an offer to pay for your dinner, a few drinks and a lift back to the nurses home. You were girls that liked to have fun as a distraction from the long hours and hard work you put in on "Emergency Ward 10". And I was happy to do it for no other reward than I liked your company - well, maybe a small snog on the doorstep too before Matron bolted the doors!

But I suspect that today's generation of nurses - whilst still fun-loving, I'm sure - will not appreciate the blandishments from our super-suave Prime Minister and his beleaguered band of no-hopers.

Gordon Brown has never struck me as a ladies man but he seems to have come up with a terrific wheeze to woo you over to his side at the coming local elections. How do you fancy an 8% pay rise? Yes, of course you do.

How do fancy an 8% pay rise spread over three years? OK, there would be an increase of 2.75% from April 2008 followed by further increases of 2.4% in 2009/10 and 2.25% in 2010/11. Still interested?

Hmm, thought so. Not such a good sport is our Gordon, is he? He knows that real inflation is much higher than this now and will get much worse over the next few years. But, of course he's been rigging the inflation figures for years by choosing to use the CPI measure rather than RPI.

Don't believe me? Have a look at Dr John Crippen's blog on this and follow the link to Wat Tyler's site to see how worthless this offer is.

I don't know about you but the last thing I would want to give Gordon is a snog (UGH!) - because he deserves another kick in the "Balls" on 1st May - and if he complains - just say "so what"!

Gordon Brown Speaks With Forked Tongue!

Anyone who has ever suspected that Gordon Brown is a devious lying toad should read this invaluable expose in the Spectator's Coffee House blog today.

If the Lisbon Treaty isn't a European Constitution then I'm a Dutchman!

Of course, you might choose to think he's not bad - just mad - at least if this item in the FT Westminster blog is to be believed.