"What's That Terrible Smell?"

That was the question being asked all over the country yesterday.

The official explanation was that it was the result of farmers in Europe carrying out their annual muck-spreading operations. It is quite normal for them to use the copious amounts of brown stuff produced by their heavily-subsidised livestock, particularly pigs, to increase crop production.

Some of us choose to believe that it is too much of a coincidence that this event occurred on the very day that Gordon Brown returned from the USA after his no-profile visit. After all, isn't he shitting himself about what to do about his inept handling of the elimination of the 10p tax band?

God Moves In Mysterious Ways

For a moment, when I saw this photograph of Gordon Brown at today's meeting of the UN Security Council in New York, I thought (and hoped) "Is he dead?" (Not a very Christian thought I know.)

Was the Pope exacting some sort of un-Christian revenge on the mad Scotsman for having the audacity to upstage his own historic visit to the USA?

But unfortunately it wasn't true! Benedict hadn't performed a miracle and shuffled Gordon off this mortal coil.


Oh well, we'll just have to do that at the next General Election - if his own party don't do it before!