Wow! That's an another surprise for Gordon Brown

The head of the Army has issued a dire warning that Britain has almost run out of troops to defend the country or fight abroad, according to a secret document obtained by the Daily Telegraph.

No doubt we'll be hearing a lot about the analysis of the by-election results in Sedgefield and Ealing & Southall over the weekend but these events are largely irrelevant when our service men and women's lives are being threatened by the incompetence of Gordon Brown.

Gen Sir Richard Dannatt has told senior commanders that reinforcements for emergencies or for operations in Iraq or Afghanistan are "now almost non-existent". In a memorandum to fellow defence leaders, the Chief of the General Staff confessed that "we now have almost no capability to react to the unexpected". The "undermanned" Army now has all its units committed to either training for war in Iraq and Afghanistan, on leave or on operations.

It is not the first time Gen Dannatt has raised concerns on Britain's fighting ability. A few weeks into his job last year, Sir Richard said the military was "running hot" and urged for a national debate on defence.

I seem to remember that Gordon Brown said recently in Parliament that a key objective of any government is to ensure the security of its people. How well has he provided for these events? I suspect he has not even given it a thought. After all he leaves all that sort of detail to his kinsman Des Browne!

How to make a small fortune

In a previous life I was (for a very short time) a financial adviser associated with a very prestigious merchant bank which was long ago absorbed into the globalised banking industry. (I hasten to add that I never mis-sold a pension and actually helped a lot of people improve their long term financial position.)

But the standing joke with my colleagues at the time was "How do you make a small fortune? Invest a large one with our bank!"

Ring any bells? Gordon Brown has been "investing" your money for the last ten years and what have we got to show for it? Answers on a postage stamp please!

The United Kingdom used to be recognised as one of the richest nations in the world. Under this New (Brown) Labour government this country has dropped down this list and we should remember:

• There are five million people of working age not in work
• The poorest people in Britain have got poorer under Labour
• There are more young people not in work or full-time education than ten years ago
• We have one of the highest rates of family breakdown in Europe
• Most European countries recognise marriage in their tax system; Britain doesn’t.

The list could go on but it would only reinforce the abject failure of Gordon Brown and the erstwhile Blair to use your money to improve the fortunes of this once great country.

Winston Churchill is history?

The educational establishment in this country have really got their heads up their arses. Now they are saying that we should not teach children about Winston Churchill's role in our history.

This would normally be the occasion when I'd say "will the last one to leave the country please turn out the lights?" But there will be plenty of sad people left here still plugging away with their so-called "modernising" tendencies. We've had 30 years of this destruction of British values and perspectives of our history and look where we are now.

Maybe now is the time to stay and fight this nonsense?

Do you feel lucky, Hunk?

I was amused by Iain Dale's blog today One for the Ladies... (I Think) where he published a photo of himself aged 22.

It was very similar to the one of me aged 20 in the photo shown on the left. It was taken on a holiday in Split which is a wonderful walled city in Croatia but in those days was in Yugoslavia. (I'm talking about 1969 which is probably beyond living memory for you dear reader.)

But having indulged in this little bit of nostalgia (and, I have to admit some sadness at the loss of my youthful vigour) I suddenly realised there were some other parallels with Iain Dale which made me uncomfortable. My birthday is in July (as is Iain's); I too tried to grow a beard at one point and found it a little bit gingery; and I have to admit that I could also lose a few pounds! You could also point out that we both support the Conservative Party although he is more passionate than I am perhaps.

Then it dawned on me that all these coincidences could only mean one thing. I must be gay!

When I confided this to my wife she pointed out in her usual sensible way that, in addition to the three children I have fathered (that we know of), I don't wear brightly coloured ties, I prefer Rugby to soccer, would never have a dog in the house, smoke too much and don't like the Germans I realised that she still had her "hunk" despite all the time I spend watching 18 Doughty Street. Oh, lucky man!

I'm 'avin a fag!

Good old Charlie! Caught having a crafty drag out of the train window he apparently thought he wasn't breaking the law which he voted for.

Now, I know he is a Liberal Democrat but that doesn't mean there is one law for him and one for the rest of us plebs. I'm a smoker too and have to put up with the democratic decision that was made in Parliament.

All those people who are members of working men's clubs or social institutes where they have gone for years to have a drink and a smoke with their neighbours all have to abide by this law too. Don't forget these are private clubs where you have to pay to be a member. So you make a choice to join and are fully aware of the rules and regulations. There were no rules to say you couldn't smoke in the bar unless the members themselves had voted for them. Democracy in action, you might say but after 1st July 2007 our supposed democratic Parliament decided to take away this right.

So, in my view Goodtime Charlie should, as a so-called democrat, be subjected to the full rigours of the law he voted for and be prosecuted like any other common "criminal" that we smokers have become!

Ming the Winnner!

An extremely elderly man in a Savile Row suit, looking like Bill Deedes's older brother, apparently leads the Liberal Democratic Party. Well, for the time being anyway if the rumours are to be believed.

The latest betting for the LibDems to win the next General Election is 150/1 - not much surprise there. But for some reason there are members of his party who think they should change their current leader as this would improve their electoral chances.

I don't know about you but if someone takes this job on they will have to be a bloody superman (sorry, superperson). My advice is stick with Ming - it's steady as you go, LibDems.

Gosh, that must hurt!

Why would anyone want to do this to themselves? I can only assume at this stage that it's got something to do with wanting to go to paradise with 72 virgins awaiting their arrival with great anticipation.

But for a man who has trained as a doctor and spent years of his life learning how to diagnose and treat disease and injury in fellow humans it is incredible that he should contemplate causing such potential death and destruction. What sort of belief system would engender such a course of action? He's not a disadvantaged youth in a high unemployment area that has been "turned" by some evil imam at the local mosque into a homicidal maniac. So what has made him what he is?

I think he, and his friends, are simply evil and will only be stopped if we confront them wherever they are or whatever they do. They cannot be allowed to intimidate the rest of us - ever! This might mean we have to accept some (temporary and intermittent) erosion of our hard fought liberties but this does not mean we have to have ID cards! Ever!

Alan Johnston is Released

Now that is good news and nothing to do with Brown.

No, Hamas, that wonderfully competent government has decided that the stupid sub-group within their ranks should release him.

I detect the hand of Tony Blair on my shoulder. He's already making a difference. Suck on that Gordon!

Am I Green or Mean?

Chris Jackson argues on 18 Doughty Street that Global Warming is a threat to our existence, but not for the usual reasons.

"In the past decade Global Warming has become an international issue with global consequence but do the public really care? In a political sphere where parties campaign on a large scale for Green policies are the electorate themselves really that interested?

"Surely the simplest answer to this question is to look at the Green party and their support. The Greens received 250,000 votes at the last election and did not gain a single seat in the UK parliament. Admittedly the bad transfer of votes to seats due to the first past the post system is unhelpful, but only 12% of people between the 2nd and 3rd of May in the 2005 election thought that the environment was an important issue. (YouGov)

"Fundamentally whilst people are aware the world’s climate is changing they are either sceptical about the cause of Global Warming or are simply more concerned with the other issues.The war in Iraq was a big issue for the 2005 General Election but the Labour party still got re-elected.

"If a major party in the next election had no Green agenda but popular policies on Crime, Health, Immigration, Pensions and education I believe they would still win the next election. Now, at this point many advocates of anthropogenic Global Warming would say that these points merely highlight the laziness of the general public and the consumer society that places money above all. With regards to society being lazy it would seem unfair to associate a lack of reaction to being lazy. However it is true that by and large western society seems to be largely driven by money but is this really such a problem? The western world is a capitalist society driven by the demand for goods that fuel industries, provides jobs and funds homes and public projects. Whilst money is certainly not everything it is unfortunately not far off.

"The additional costs for eco-friendly industries will lead to price rises across the economy and for price elastic products this will produce a fall in sales, revenues and ultimately job losses. Naturally such a situation would lead to social unrest and a society divided between the haves and have nots. Furthermore, by forcing developing countries to pay crippling extra costs for eco-friendly industries we would destroy their already fragile economies and increase their global debt. In many respects Global Warming could become one of the greatest disasters of our generation; but not through the effects of climate change which have occurred for over 4 billion years and will continue until the world ends. The threat of Global warming is that people will lose their common sense and become carried away by the Green Lobby which has the power to destroy society as we know it. But luckily people don’t seem to care enough at the moment, let’s just hope it stays that way. "

I totally agree. Conserving energy, looking for alternatives, recycling, etc - all "good". Making people feel guilty because it is "their fault" is a turn off for most people. All this carbon footprint/off-setting stuff is so unrealistic for most people as they go about their daily lives is just not relevant.

For example, I need to travel in a car 30 miles each way to work. The alternative transport by bus or train would take even more time than the current hour or so and would be very much more expensive. What can I do about my carbon footprint?

Move house, uproot my family from an area where we have lived for over 30 years and buy a house within walking distance of my place of work? Would my sacrifice save the planet?

I doubt it and, frankly, I don't care!

All the talents?

I hear that Osama bin Laden was offered a post in Gordon Brown's new "Government of all the Talents" but, after consulting his party leader, he said:

"Allah has told me that it would not be appropriate at this time to provide my undoubted organisational skills and intimate knowledge of the Middle East situation to the unelected Brown government. Until a truly democratically elected administration is in place in the United Kingdom he has advised me to stay out of the Big Tent. This is because, as a result of kidney disease, I have difficulty in pissing - in any direction."

However, I am also reliably informed that Mr bin Laden is prepared to meet with the Quartet's new representative for the Middle East as this would mean it was a prelude to speaking Condoleza Rice face-to-face - someone he's been dying to meet for years.