All the talents?

I hear that Osama bin Laden was offered a post in Gordon Brown's new "Government of all the Talents" but, after consulting his party leader, he said:

"Allah has told me that it would not be appropriate at this time to provide my undoubted organisational skills and intimate knowledge of the Middle East situation to the unelected Brown government. Until a truly democratically elected administration is in place in the United Kingdom he has advised me to stay out of the Big Tent. This is because, as a result of kidney disease, I have difficulty in pissing - in any direction."

However, I am also reliably informed that Mr bin Laden is prepared to meet with the Quartet's new representative for the Middle East as this would mean it was a prelude to speaking Condoleza Rice face-to-face - someone he's been dying to meet for years.