So, what has Labour really done to help business?

We are all used to hearing the Great Lord Protector of All-of-Us announcing schemes to save British business from the effects of US sub-prime bank lending-induced recession. And we are used to hearing how successful these have been in reducing the numbers of people that would have become unemployed if they had not been introduced.

But have they really been effective?

Lobbydog has been passed some interesting information by the Conservative Party which sheds some interesting light on what has really happened.

Capital for Enterprise Fund
A £75 million fund to invest in small businesses needing equity, announced on January 14th 2009. Only seven businesses have received money from the fund in its eleven months of operation.

BIS Working Capital Scheme
A scheme pledging £10 billion in guarantees to cover credit to businesses with a turnover of up to £500 million a year, announced January 14th 2009. The Government provides banks with guarantees covering 50% of the risk on existing and capital projects worth up to £20 billion. It was delayed for months, and then agreements were only signed with three banks (RBS, Natwest and Lloyds) for £2 billion, a fifth of the scheme’s original allocation. Rosie Winterton recently announced that the remaining funding for this has been reallocated.

UK Innovation Investment Fund
A £1 billion scheme to invest in innovative business, announced 6 months ago. No investments yet made. It has not appointed a fund manager.

BIS Trade Credit Insurance Scheme
The scheme allows suppliers which have seen trade credit reduced to buy taxpayer-guaranteed ‘top-ups’ worth up to £2 million, announced in April. Some £5 billion in insurance was pledged, but only 72 firms have benefited. Only £13 million – or 0.4% of the £5 billion allocated to the scheme – has been handed out.

BIS Automotive Assistance Programme
The programme involves two forms of help for car manufacturers. One involves guarantees to unlock loans of up to £1.3 billion. The other involves loans or loan guarantees to support up to £1 billion of lending. No loans have been made. A loan was offered to one car firm, but the company rejected because it thought it could get a better deal elsewhere.

So, how credible is it for Brown & Co to claim that they have done more than any previous government to help business ride out this recession? Remember that this a recession that they told us we were in a better position than other countries to survive because of their brilliant management of the economy.

Never trust a Labour Government with your money!

Tory Cuts versus Labour Investments - the true story

Mandelson tries to re-write history - again:

Is it just me or is Mandelson's nose getting bigger?

Peter - if you live by the sword of spin you will die by it.

Mandelson gets angry!

Judging by this clip Mandelson is back in charge of the Labour spin machine. None of that low-life smearing for him - he'd never do that, would he? No, he's back to making up stories about the Tories being happy the country is in recession.

That's just good old-fashioned spin, lies and innuendo with no basis in the facts. Nothing wrong with that! Expect a lot more of it over the next week when Alistair Darling delivers his "crisis budget".

But do just watch out for the spin it will be given for a couple of days until the figures are ripped to shreds by the Opposition.

Arrest that woman!

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This woman had a point to make but this was not the way to do it. Mandelson had good cause to retaliate (a la Prescott and the egg incident) but he didn't. On the other hand she should be charged with assault.

The Mandy and Ken Show

The YouGov poll in the Daily Telegraph has an interesting little nugget that might cause a frisson of concern amongst Labour supporters. Apart from the Conservatives still having a lead in double digits, apparently "...48% of those questioned said that Kenneth Clarke - brought back onto the Tory frontbenches last month by Mr Cameron - would make the best Business Secretary, against 17% for Labour's Lord Mandelson."

Oh dear! The PoD is losing his touch! The King of Spin has been beaten by the old bruiser. Ken is seen as a safe pair of hands. Good call by David Cameron and George Osborne to bring him back into the Shadow Cabinet.

And isn't it sweetly ironic that Mandy will have to rely on the Conservatives to get his Royal Mail "privatisation" bill through the House of Commons?

Mandelson is an alien life form!

Peter Mandelson is a head banger - it's official!

Poor old Peter, brought back into government by Gordon Brown to counter-balance his lack of emotional intelligence (remember his propensity to throw mobile phones against the wall?) now finds himself frustrated with Labour's inability to forge a united front on the third runway at Heathrow. Apparently, the Prince of Darkness was so angry he actually banged his head on the Cabinet Room table.

If tomorrow's Sunday Telegraph report is to be believed ".... an unnamed minister, expressing concerns over the runway, said: 'I realise the point I am making is irrational.'....There was then, sources said, an "audible thump" as Lord Mandelson, an enthusiastic supporter of the project, banged his head on the polished wood of the large, oval table....".

Oh well, never mind. It ain't going to happen anyway if the Conservatives win the next election. The latest YouGov poll in the Sunday Times puts the Conservatives on a 13% lead over Labour and the ComRes poll in the Sunday Independent has them 9% ahead. Both polls represent significant moves back to the Conservatives and suggest that Brown's so-called bounce is about as dead as a dead cat bouncing on a... well, a concrete runway.

Oleg, Peter, Nat, George and I are just good friends - honest!

I am sorry to disappoint you all but there is no truth in the stories circulating in the media that I have ever had relations with Oleg, Peter, Nat or George.

I have never been to Corfu and I have never been on a yacht owned by a Russian and I have never solicited a donation to any political party.

Why don't you believe me? (See photo.)